There’s an exhaustion that sometimes seems inseparable from some of the best things in life. Happiness for it’s own sake, happiness without a reason that would stand in front of a grand jury pulls me across campus allowing me to do all of the favorite simple things: swinging on the swing set, finding the one book in the library that is thicker than it is tall or wide, climbing trees. This great chain of events attaches itself firmly to the security and comfort of my favorite purple chair and pyramidal table in the Campus Center that whisk me onto my butt and the crutch of my back and these parts of me sink deeper into relief, screaming like being swallowed by a quicksand pit.
I revel in this Lethe like a soul who slipped into the river, letting its flow take him and drown him in the idle buoyancy, forgetting his worries. There’s a sadness though, not being able to partake in the gymnastic bliss anymore, now that I had worked myself into a contented state of unbeing. An undefined part of me still wished to feel my skin living with the inspiration of the chilled breath of autumn, but I was unwilling to roll myself from sumptuous clutches of my comfort. I needed to feel, but I couldn’t, not to the extent I really wanted to anyway.
I figured that If I couldn’t blow away time anymore, I could at least be productive. I turned the wheel on my iPod to Mahogany. There was a review that needed to be done in the near future, and I could tell that I was probably going to be spending a lot of days wandering and appreciating my ability to. With my feet up on the table and my back into the chair, I neutralized all of the muscles in my body making my brain the only muscle to be worked for this exercise. That’s what I thought would be most efficient, most productive, and most of all, most likely.
The music had a certain bit of wisp to it that dressed my cold, inanimate, and autumnal body with whimsical streams of helicopter seeds from maple trees and dying leaves that burned to the ground with fiery colors of red and yellow. The Fall wind was present in Connectivity! That played my body like a woodwind marionette, my body coming alive with its breath. My body was active again without me having to lift a finger. The light and subtle ambience that threw delight into the wind to be caught and tossed playfully like an oversized exercise inflatable exercise ball between children having just realized the strength they have to play with such large but fanciful objects. My two conflicting wants of rest and activity were connected with Connectivity!
New Order – Substance
Cocteau Twins – Treasure
Lush – Split