On a mountaintop, which divides the legendary land of the Angels and the desolate valley, sits the great bearded one, Rick Rubin. From his lofty throne, he can see both into the omnipresent future and into the overlooked past. Today, he is troubled. As he looks down either side of the mountain, all he sees is degradation. On one side, the hollow façade of stardom, on the other, a kingdom of lechery. Some days he is tempted to merely smite them all with his bolts of lightning, but as always, music soothes his savage breast. Today, however, music is not enough. Where once he could revel in the hip-hop culture of youth, now he merely wallows in disgust at the world. Lately, he has been spending most of his time with older artists and he fears he’s lost touch with the young people. Just then, a butterfly fluttered in through the window, landing on the great Rubin’s shoulder. It has heard of his plight and tells him of a band that can turn the degradation he sees into entertainment. Rubin does not hesitate, “Servants! Bring me the Vacation!”
Three bumbling men quickly approach the great Rubin. “Where were you!?!” bellowed Rubin. “Coolin’ on a corner on a hot summers day, just me and my posse and MCA,” replied the shortest one. “When I bark, you jump, got it?” said Rubin, “don’t forget, I made you who you are today.” And so, the three Beasties went off in search of the Vacation. Their long and arduous trek (in which there was much grumbling about how Rubin never sends the Red Hot Chili Peppers out on assignments) brought them to Granite City, Illinois. There they found the band they were looking for, bassist Eric Suoninen, and the twin Tegel brothers, guitarist Steve and singer Ben.
When brought to Rubin, they were forced to play for his amusement. He relocated them to his dreary land and asked them to bring light once more. He wanted to recapture that feeling he used to have when Guns n’ Roses and Jane’s Addiction used to roam his streets. The band immediately set to work writing about a Hollywood cemetery their apartment looked over, prostitutes, drug use, alcohol and sex. In other words, they were resurrecting Los Angeles rock and roll. Ben Tegel jumped around on stage, contorting his body like Iggy Pop. Steve Tegel munched and crunched his guitar like a combination of AC/DC and the Vines. Eric Suoninen fuzzed out the low end like it was in the Witness Protection Program. Since Eric isn’t much of a rock and roll name, however, Rubin forced him to change it to “Dutch.”
And so, the great Rubin found his way back to the young people. The Vacation was now part of his stable, though they wouldn’t bring him back to his once former glory. The great Rubin had other tricks up his sleeve however. He took on controversy by teaming with the Dixie Chicks! But for now Rubin was appeased and he even got some of his mischievous spirit back. In fact, he was already planning on appearing to Shakira in the guise of a swan.
The Vines – Winning Days
Jet – Get Born
Iggy and The Stooges – Raw Power