Madeline Johnston is a veteran of the road. Performing under the name Midwife, she has spent countless hours driving to and from venues offering her iconic “heaven metal” sound to thousands over the years. She understands that performance isn’t just about getting onstage and entertaining people: the power in performance comes with understanding connection. When you’re at a show, there’s a communal spirit at play. The artist provides, the audience gives back, and that energy is channeled back and forth between each party throughout the night. Together, everyone is part of a community.
This lesson is a vital aspect to what Johnston has learned throughout her 11-year career thus far, and it’s one of the prominent themes in her newest album, No Depression In Heaven, out in September via Flenser. Written while on the road, Johnston’s new album and follow-up to 2021’s Luminol explores the duality of the rock ‘n’ roll journey, such as the loss and joy discovered along the way. Sonically, Johnston’s signature sound gives way to yet another experience that carries tremendous feeling. Her understanding of what makes music “heavy” is beyond any trope or artifice that hundreds of others employ—this heaviness comes from creating music out of something real.
I had the opportunity to ask Johnston about her work on No Depression In Heaven: the origin of her songs, aspects of the touring life that get overlooked, and the lessons she’s learned while on the road.
Treble: The title “No Depression In Heaven” is inspired by The Carter Family song of the same name. What about that title resonates with you?
Madeline Johnston: I understand the song to be about the universal struggle of a painful existence here on earth. It promises a better life to come after death, but at the same time, it’s an honest look at our reality. “No Depression In Heaven” has captivated people for nearly 100 years, and I think it kind of speaks to the timeless feeling of not belonging here, and wanting to escape this world.
The song has always felt like a traveler’s ode to me. During the Great Depression, many people were in transit, seeking a better life, better opportunities, or on the move due to being forced out of the situations they found themselves in. “No Depression In Heaven” is like a magical hymn for these people in motion, there’s a lot of hope in the meaning of the song. I think this song became so popular in the 1930s because it felt like a prayer.
I’ve related the title to this body of work because the songs were born from traveling. When you’re on the road you exist in another space. I want my songs to feel like a little dose of that feeling. To see some light alongside the darkness. To have hope for better things to come without disregarding reality.
Treble: Alongside the somber aspects of the album, No Depression In Heaven is also a celebration of rock, particularly regarding touring life, performance, and community. During your time performing as Midwife, how has your perspective on community evolved?
MJ: My community has defined the course of my creative path. I got my start in the DIY scene, and it remains a painfully important part of my work, home, and heart. Our shared trauma has united us and made us a stronger community. Although in recent years I needed a break from being an organizer of my home scene in Denver, returning to DIY shows anywhere makes me feel closer to that creative channel, and the feeling of familiarity and safety. I feel like myself in the DIY scene. It’s important that the legacy carries on, while recognizing the history of these spaces and bands that came before, in the same way I admired my scene’s history before me, I get excited to see the younger generation of artists carrying the torch. I think my relationship with the community has evolved in the way it feels more boundless now, and that’s really cool. The country feels smaller, like the whole thing can be my music scene rather than what was previously just my own city.
Treble: Regarding your song “Killdozer,” can you speak to what compelled you to write it and pay tribute to Marvin Heemeyer?
MJ: Marvin Heemeyer’s story is fascinating. The story takes place in Granby, Colorado, a small-town northwest of Denver. Heemeyer was a muffler repair shop owner who was at odds with various people in power. He felt these people were interfering with his business, property, and liberty. In 2004, he went on a demolition spree in a modified bulldozer before killing himself: destroying the town hall, home of the former mayor, and other city buildings. No one was hurt besides Heemeyer himself. He left behind hours of self-recorded cassette tapes of his profound and delusional ramblings, an oddball manifesto of sorts, stating that he was on a mission from god.
My song “Killdozer” was inspired by this story. It’s an ode to a city lost in the aftermath of gentrification. Having lived in Colorado for nearly 17 years, I have seen the place I love disappear and be replaced by something different. I have seen my community struggle with attempting to have a voice in these decisions and in turn, be completely disregarded. So, I can understand what would drive a person to take action. Although controversial, Marvin Heemeyer ultimately put everything on the line for what he felt was right. Acting out his fantasy in the most extreme way, it’s a story at its core about rebelling against “the man.”
Treble: Can you talk a little about how “Droving” came to be? What was going through your mind as you were writing the song?
MJ: It began by spending a lot of time in the car and ended in a breakthrough therapy session in which we spoke about the feeling of being driven by another force. The song originally had completely different lyrics that focused on dreaming and sleepwalking, relating these ideas to feeling far away and disconnected from your own life. I was thinking about the concept of droving: the duality of the livestock and the droving dogs that herd them as the cyclical nature of experience and emotion, failure. Being in transition. Our bodies are vessels, a vehicle. The song became a memorial piece to those we have lost in the scene, and a reflection on fleeting moments of life and tour. “Droving” is a reminder to stay present. Life like this could be our last song.
Music and art have always felt like my outlet to heal, and that’s where I turn when I feel bad.
Treble: What inspired you to cover “Autoluminescent” (Rowland S. Howard) and “Better Off Alone” (Alice Deejay)?
MJ: “Autoluminescent” is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. The lyrics are heartbreaking. It had been on my list of covers for a while, and I learned how to play it around the anniversary of my friend Colin Ward’s passing. I like to work on music on his anniversary, and I recorded it that day, crying while I tracked the vocals. Making this song felt cathartic and therapeutic. “Autoluminescent” naturally fit into the album that I was slowly putting together.
The other cover, “Better Off Alone,” was similar. This was actually the first song I made for the album. Initially, I had recorded it just for fun, as a demo. I felt that “Better Off Alone” was really in line with Midwife’s canon. I love how the simple structure and minimal lyrics convey a desperate and universal feeling. Later on, I revisited the track and decided it was perfect as it was, perfectly imperfect. That idea dictated the approach to making this entire body of work—to return to something free and uninhibited. Focusing less on perfection and instead, honing in on the spirit that lives inside the songs.
Treble: What are some aspects of rock and roll/touring life you feel get overlooked? In what ways did you want to bring attention to such matters on No Depression In Heaven?
MJ: I think people just see the positive aspects of touring and “being a rockstar” while overlooking the emotionally taxing moments and hard work that goes on behind the scenes. No Depression In Heaven was mostly written in the back of vans in the notes app on my phone, an outlet for my scattered thoughts on the highway. Existential reflection is heavy within every mundane moment on tour. I want to bring attention to a softer side of my persona as Midwife with this record and share some of these thoughts.
Treble: Over the past couple of years more musicians have opened up about the difficulties associated with touring. Regarding pre and current pandemic experiences, what has life on the road been like for you? Have you endured more difficulties, and if so, how have you navigated them?
MJ: Prior to the pandemic, I had been doing DIY tours on my own for about ten years. But coming out of 2021, I was catapulted into something greater, and really quickly playing big rooms, big tours. It’s been an absolutely insane few years for me. Everything has felt more heightened, inspired, and the momentum has been building. I’ve been working my ass off. At this point, pretty much every bad scenario has happened to me on tour: my van breaking down halfway through, being robbed and losing all our gear, everyone getting Covid, forcing the tour to end early. Through all of it, I’ve felt supported and loved by my scene and community and have been able to keep going. I’m super grateful and humbled to be in the position I’m in. There’s definitely some major challenges that come with this lifestyle, too. It’s been difficult to balance touring as my main source of income without feeling burnt out. It puts a lot of pressure on your creativity. Touring in a full-time capacity has been difficult with my health problems and chronic pain. I’ve had to be very intentional with my time off and realize how important self-care is when you’re constantly on the go.
Treble: Your “Heaven Metal” sound, while it isn’t stereotypically metal sounding, offers a presentation with a great impact. What, to you, makes music heavy?
MJ: It’s about a feeling. I think heavy music isn’t always about the sonic quality, it’s more about that cathartic release of emotion that you feel in your heart, in your body. This does come from big, loud, and energized sounds most of the time, but must it always? Can I achieve that heaviness with something soft? Something patient? I seek to tap into the same well of emotional alchemy by being quiet. I think music is heavy on a spiritual level.
Treble: Considering you’ve discussed your own experiences with grief and depression, what are some approaches you take to find hope when things get tough?
MJ: My instinct is to retreat further into myself, but it helps to connect, and try to remain open to the world. It’s also important to not repress those feelings. Music and art have always felt like my outlet to heal, and that’s where I turn when I feel bad.
Treble: How has the life of being an artist changed your view of the world and yourself?
MJ: Being an artist is about self-discovery and creating different perspectives about our environments. It’s equally about asking questions as it is answering them. I’m grateful to have discovered a new way of existing here, as an artist I have the opportunity to create my own reality. That realization was my biggest “aha” moment. You don’t have to wait for things to come your way—you can make them happen yourself. Transitioning to music full-time as my job, one of the most important things I’ve learned is as long as you take yourself seriously as a professional, other people will too. This journey has just begun, and I look forward to continuing this process of learning about myself and how I fit into the world. It never ends.
Treble is supported by its patrons. Become a member of our Patreon, get access to subscriber benefits, and help an independent media outlet continue delivering articles like these.
