“Hello and welcome to the narrowest niche market game show on television! This is Mission!…of!…Burma!!! That’s right, Mission of Burma, the game show devoted to the critically celebrated, yet still relatively obscure agitprop agit-pop band from the early ’80s, right here on Post-Punk TV on channel 932. That’s right, PPTV, showering you with pure gold. Let’s get on with our show and meet our contestants. First up, we have Bill, a twenty-three year old high school senior. Why still in high school, Bill?” “I was in jail for a while.” “Alright, moving on! Next up, we have Christine, a forty-two year old housewife who is a self-described music lover! Who’s your favorite, dearie?” “Oh, I do so love the Michael Bublé!” (stunned silence, crickets, etc.) “Oh honey, you don’t stand a chance, even against the jailbird. And now our last contestant, Roger Miller. Roger, I’m assuming you named yourself after the MoB singer and guitarist and not the `King of the Road,’ yes?” “Who’s that?” “God, I feel old…Anyway, on with our game!
“As you can see, the lovely Hannah Black is standing in front of our puzzle, a mere two-letter title and an unknown punctuation mark. Bill, go ahead and spin that wheel! Alright! You have a chance at twenty dollars if you guess a letter correctly, go ahead.” “Ummm, Q?” “No, I’m sorry, no Q. What the hell were you thinking, Bill?” “Well, I was hoping for IQ?” “Yes, Bill, so were we all, but we have to move on. Christine, take a spin. Pick a letter for ten buckaroos!” “Is there an E with an accent mark over it?” “What?” “I just love that accent over the end of Bublé!” “Ma’am, you’re an idiot. Roger, please save us from this inanity. Spin, pick, do it!” “I’d like to solve the puzzle without spinning.” “Yes, Roger, please!” “Is it Vs.?” “Yes, Roger, it is! You’ve won! Thank all that is holy! Johnny, tell Roger what he’s won!”
“Roger’s won the newly pressed reissue of Vs. from Matador Records, both in 180 gram vinyl and a CD package! This lone studio album from Mission of Burma’s first incarnation is now the part of cultish legend! Matador gloriously reissues this post-punk classic that influenced hordes of bands to come in its wake. Every song is here from the original 1982 release including the R.E.M.-inspiring opener, “Secrets,” the proto-Tears for Fears tracks by Clint Conley, “Train” and “Dead Pool,” and the fiery precursor to Sonic Youth, “New Nails.” And that’s not all! You also get the extraordinary “Mica,” with its jagged harmonics and “Weatherbox,” one of the more accessible tunes, well before its time, featuring the trademark tape manipulation of Martin Swope! “The Ballad of Johnny Burma” is also here, with the band’s signature angsty guitar style, and “Fun World,” the aggressively chugging track that dares to make post-punk as melodic as pop! You also get four bonus tracks including “Forget” and “OK / No Way,” two songs that are as strong as anything on the album proper! And that’s not all! Included with this fabulous reissue package is a DVD of the afternoon set of Mission of Burma’s final Boston concert in March of 1983! Fifteen blistering live tracks from one of Burma’s last ever shows is enough to win over even the most discriminating fans! Back to you, Pat!”
“Thank you, Johnny! Well, that’s quite a prize, Roger! You seem awfully quiet, though. Wait a minute, are you crying?” “…This is the happiest day of my life…” “Yes, well, glad we could help. Remember to tune in next time where the puzzle will be an eight-letter word for `hearing loss’ that contains only three separate consonants and two distinct vowels! In the meantime, stay tuned for “Gang of Four,” the action adventure show about four kids who battle in the streets of Los Angeles with guns by day and guitars by night, and then “Joy Division,” the wackiest concentration camp sitcom this side of “Hogan’s Heroes.” All this is coming up on Post-Punk Television! That’s right, PPTV, the cable channel where everyone with music taste feels like a whiz! Make sure to tell your cable provider, `pour some PP on me!’ Good night everybody!”